My most cherished teachers, have given me advice about “belonging” because somehow, it’s a thing for me. Like, a total thing for me. I have rarely experienced a feeling of belonging. And when I did, I remember grasping at it, wanting it to last forever.
Em: “Why would you want to belong, you gotta get over that one, girl, the sooner the better!”
Paul: “You will never belong you are powerfully special”
Julie: “Why would you want to be special (and belong)… that is filled with expectation of others and…..sooo boring! Be you! so much more exciting…”
I feel lucky to have such independent strong loving teachers in my life, who are willing to be so present with me, in such a deeply kind way. Thank god for them! or I may not be here.
And yet, my wanting to belong hasn’t shifted. It is real. I feel it today. I feel it now.
So when I discovered that Brene Brown’s new book (which has the word WILDERNESS (love that!) was about BELONGING….. I straight up bought it, even though I have about 20 books in my queue. I am one chapter in and LOVING it! I have tears in my eyes, as I read (listen).
I have moved from being on the fence with this woman (though I have read and enjoyed all her books and TedTalks) to officially, admiring her.
I think this book is her best and I think people are going to love it and it is going to fly off the shelves in a big way. She seems ON, like super tapped in to what is going on internally for a lot of people right now. Although I have only read a chapter and my feelings could shift…….this is my first impression!
Quote (somewhat chopped up)
“…..These are the moments that left unspoken and unresolved send us into our adult lives searching desperately for belonging and settle for fitting in. They have the power to break our heart, spirit and sense of self worth. And generally you handle this in 3 ways:
- You live in constant pain and seek relief by numbing it and are inflicting pain on others.
- You deny your pain and your denial ensures that you pass it on to those around you and down to your children (my Dad)
- You find the courage to own the pain and develop a level empathy for yourself and others that allows you to spot hurt in the world in a very unique way.”
I think we need to weave the tapestry of humanity back together….go into this pain and come out the other side!