Wind and Waves

~ The process of aligning the life I am living…with the life in me, that wants to live! ~

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Not feeling the Flow

February 17th, 2010 · 1 Comment · La Vida

Wow. I think maybe, for once, I can empathize with people who travel and don’t like It?  I’ve always loved it and coulndn’t for the life of me understand feeling any different.  In fact, I felt kinda envious of people didn’t like it.  What would it be like, to NOT want to ALWAYS travel?  To me, it sounds like a form of content!

Just now, I bring my own coffee mug to fill with coffee (saves trash)…..they think I’m totally weird and don’t know how to make an Americano in it.  They keep asking me how much water I want in it, meanwhile totally killing the fresh shot of esspresso in the mug and splashing it it, ruining any crema that was there. (I realize that in writing this, I’m sounding like a coffee snob but I do think that making an americano is an art form and when I’m paying two dollars for a small one, I like the barrista to see it as an art form as well!

I’m scattered digging in my bag for stuff, always.  Digging through this, through that, looking for a pen,a paper, my chapstick, my lotion.  Grrrrr

On the way to Florida, I sat between two fat people, one of whom was sniffling and clutching her sudafed box the entire plane trip.  I used to see plane trips as a wonderful chance to really get to know someone, this flight, and more recently, I’ve been putting out as many signals as I can for people not to talk to me.  This woman was keen to tell me about her life and I sure as heck did not want to open the flood gates! (when did I get so mean!)

I’ve having to change my pattern and eat breakfast before 9am. I dont’ feel myself bouncing around like usual, I feel out of rhthym.  I don’t want to eat that early, but then I’m starving later…..if I don’t.  Hmmm.  Usually holding Tattered Covered coffee cup to go is a wonderfully comforting experience for me but here and now, it is just tone of a million things I’m trying to balance and I’m always scared I’ll knock it over, its feeling more and more like a ball and chain.  But I want comfort! somehow, someway!

I have no patience lately for “new” people on the job.   I feel annoyed and wish they would just get it.  Usually I’ve extended a lot of empathy towards them.  Easy for me, since I find myself more often than not, the “new one on the job”

Maybe I’m finally growing up, since I’m having all these grown up feelings!  yikes.

More thoughts on Avatar later…….!

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